The Five Stages of Glasses

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation

Glasses? I don’t need glasses! … Glasses are for old people! I’m not old… I’m not. You’re older than me, by three weeks, so where are your glasses, huh?

Stage 2: Anger

This is all… your… fault! I wanted to get the widescreen TV but nooooo! And I’ve been squinting at that tiny 30-inch standard TV ever since. No wonder the eye-doctor thinks I need glasses.

Stage 3: Bargaining

What if I move the couch further away from the TV? All we got to do is knock out this wall, it was always in the way and… no, I’m sure it’s not a load-bearing wall but we can risk it, can’t we? What do we pay insurance premiums for?

Stage 4: Depression

Look at me. I’m old…. Hey, turn that down! You call that music? …To hell with the glasses, I might as well get bifocals and a hearing-aid because that’s what all old people wear… where’s my cardigan?

Stage 5: Acceptance

Hm. John Lennon wore specs all the time and he was in his twenties. I should get some of those Lennon specs… I would look so… awesome wearing Lennon specs while playing acoustic guitar for our friends! Honey? Where’s my guitar? …Well which one is it? The garage or the attic? Never mind, I’m going to go get some John Lennon specs! …what do you mean they’re “old ladies'” glasses?

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About rocjoe

Once a full-time software developer. Chances are if you've paid for a beer or a sandwich on any major airline in the past 5 years, code I wrote has reached you. I shifted to part-time software developing about a year ago, as a step towards a better quality of life. I still code but the 20-hour work days are a thing of the past. Lately I amuse myself by pretending I am a witty and insightful blogger. All three of those things ("witty", "insightful" and "blogger") are totally false. My promise to you: nowhere in this blog will you see source-code or technical speak. This is purely a blog for personal fun and discovery. View all posts by rocjoe

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